CHRISTMAS SPECIAL

Hey kids! It's the 7 minute and 27 second Kings of the Jungle Christmas Special!

A documentary camera crew catches up with Mike since the unfortunate accident (involving a particular murder of a particular somebody ::SPOILER ALERT::), to find out how life in Los Angeles has turned him into a social glutton. Gather the family and the children around for a warm hearted tale of the cold, dark, and vacuous life of a man with nothing to live for! 

                                                               MERRY CHRIST

Boston Market's Holiday Meal Pack

KFC Holiday Slop Meal
http://www.myspace.com/thekingsofthejungle

X

Regarding the disfunction of the band's recording at that time, Axl is quoted as saying "We still needed the collaboration of the band as a whole to write the best songs. Since none of that happened, that’s the reason why that material got scrapped."

Slash and Duff McKagan later left the group, and as such all of the original members (aside from Axl Rose) had departed from the band.

Nirvana - nir-va-na (noun) 1. An early 90's grunge band. 2. A transcendent state in which there is neither suffering, no desire, and no sense of self. This represents a state of being upon viewing the final episode of Kings of the Jungle.

heaven

IX

Those two young fellows FINALLY get a room together! And they're ready to do some SINNIN' in the City of Sin, Sin City. All is fun and games, until all that Sin leads to God giving Mike the worst hand of all time...

Original music by John Williams (creator of Stars Wars)

Royal Flush

Deck Instructions

VIII

We explore the the controversy surrounding the Twins. Towers I mean.

LISTEN. Here are the facts:

-the floors collapsed below the initial explosion (planted bombs perhaps)

- why did the towers collapse in and not over? phishy?

- the original script for "United 93" written to star Leslie Neilson and OJ Sampson.

- Kings of the Jungle episode 8 has refused to show papers confirming US citizenship.

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I wouldn't trust them but I would watch these truth videos for your own good:

HD/LCD/PLASMA

Cathode Ray Television

VII

I remember watching the Super Bowl with my family and Prince came on the picture box. As expected it was very vulgar, sultry, and ultimately obscene. Here's some thing that will cheer you up after THAT nightmare. The boys -- like doves -- cry for what they have lost.

Click to play Big Kids Version

Below: Happy Meal

VI

The boys finally arrive in the hometown of their mentor and fireworks guru, Wilford Gittis. After a strenuous 28-hour climb of the dramatic 13,770 foot Grand Teton, Bill calls for the expedition to head back to base camp when Mike refuses to stop telling the mountain to "go fuck itself".

Click to play hi-res version (Bluetooth / Big Ray compatible)

If you like choice, here is a worse option:

V

"The Kings of the Jungle (in particular episode V) is an autobiographical tale by Shaq Kerouac, with a stream of consciousness style. The work is associated with the Beat Generation."

                                                                                                     -Shirt Silverstein

Well you heard it folks from the man you gave you the Tree. We have here a true, gritty story of the hard life on the road. When the only drug is high doses of octane and where the only hair you can stroke is your neighbor's.

Click to play hi-res

Or if you have a disc-man, play this low resolution version.

Guest vocalist: Jon "Kitty Katz" Katz (The Bill Benz Show, American Gladiators)

IV

The boys go to New Orleans to pay respects to all the beer and tall alien cups that got lost in the flood. Guest cameos: Jommy Buffet, "Saltwater" Pete Gabriel.

Click to play high res version

Lower quality for limited edition U2 iPod streaming quality:

Bill: "Yo! Don't touch my camera, bro!"

III

The patron Saint of Louis has brought the world outstanding trumpet solos, skies of blue, clouds of white, and urbanized the term "Satchamo." In tonight's episode, Saint Louis also bring the fellows goodwill and good wishes as they begin at the gateway to the West. Watch as they explore the city of St. Louis and its underground catacomb existence since the turn of the century.

Megatip: Did you know Teven Spielberg used St. Louis as the backdrop for his futuristic tele-film A.I.

Click to play High Res Version

Fun fact: "St. Louis" is shorthand for "State Louis".

Click to Play Streaming Version

II

We're going to try and update this every Thursday night (Pacific time) with a new episode, until we reach all ten episodes. This will hopefully happen. For now, enjoy part 2 of 10.

In this episode, the boys make their first pit stop in Chicago when Mike leaps from the moving car. Twins, psychic visions, haertache!

Click to play HighRes Version

Twinbros, Dan and Mike hang out (photo: Tiffany Yoon, Associated Press)

Click below for streaming...

I

Click to play high res version

In the first episode, Bill and Mike announce their plans to uproot their fireworks business and move it from Philadelphia to Los Angeles. Meet the guys and their intentions. (Click the image to play)

Streaming version is also below if you're not into that hi res shit...